Well it’s a new year! And I delayed my writing until now. I don’t like to talk discouraging things–it has it’s way of reacting back on one’s self. Because honestly I was thinking that 2014 was perhaps the biggest waste of my life. I started thinking about all that could have been. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to reflect on the eve of a new year–even better than it is to party and get scrambled. But to wallow in the anguish of what could have been is just as useful as sitting in the mud and crying that you’re dirty.
So I was thinking well…this is going to be a morbid sort of post. But then I re-stumbled (is that a word? lol) upon some lessons on success and failure. My first programming teacher would often say “You can’t fail unless you try.” And that’s certainly true, “failure” is a part of the path to success, it’s like learning to walk. And so I randomly found this blog post from devinsupertramp about success. As a creative person it really spoke to me. I mean, I knew this stuff before, but everyone needs a good reminder. I realized that I can only consider 2014 a failure if I give up now in 2015. I also realized that I must not define myself by the quantity of what I’m able to do, or the efficiency with which I reach self appointed goals (new years resolutions =D). This is not to say I won’t strive to be more efficient. For example, my new years resolution last year was to finish Marianna–I didn’t. I’ve slowly come to realize that it’s a big part of my mission. So it really stung, because I can’t help feeling that the amount of time I have left is running out. Looking at the state of the world and…and other things. At the same time if I allow this to define me (as a failure) or I estimate my value to God based on whether I finished or not in a year. But that is not the scale of my value to God–it is in fact the cross that defines my value (and the value heaven places on every other person). And so for me to say, “I’m a failure!” Well why? “I didn’t finish!” Well did you write anything at all? In fact, I did; I wrote quite a bit. Just the other day I deleted 23 pages of extraneous material. Was it a waste? No. It was a very big part of shaping the story, I just realized I didn’t need to go into that much detail on that part.
So I’m going again. I will continue to grow and learn. One thing I was reminded of, I’m not sure if it’s in that video or in the blog (it’s probably in the blog), is that I need to do a lot of stuff–a lot of work to improve my craft. The suggested time frame was once a week to have something new completed. This meant two things, to me: First, I should set myself manageable deadlines. Second, since the deadlines are so short I should not attempt to climb Everest at each footstep =) In conclusion, I’d like to share with you my new year’s resolution for 2015.
Sorry it’s a white picture, and doesn’t show up too well on a white background. At this point I need to decide what those little projects will be. Idealistically I’d like to say, “A chapter a week!” thought that’s not always possible with huge projects like the Marianna xD. But what I can do is take little scenes from it and actually record them and see what I can do about sharpening those production skills. I can also work on some more music like I did last year and release another EP! Or just a bunch of singles. We’ll see. Whatever the case, I know not to spread myself too thin and just attempt to do things in bite sized pieces. If I miss a goal get up and go again with God’s help. So I want to encourage you guys, whatever your new year’s, don’t get discouraged if you fall off the wagon, or horse or, whatever you want to call your path to that goal. You’re only a failure if you stay down.
and Happy New Year!
Let’s make 2015 awesome