James the V wakes up

This is an old fragment of a script I wrote. I get these little inspirations and write down what I think at the moment. Anyway, since I’m not likely to use this genre mashup for anything I thought I’d share for the fun of it! =D


Paul:   Sorry about the mess, sir.

Market tender:   Well, hey a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.

Paul:   Here this should cover it.

Market tender:    Oh yeah! You must be in a good mood!

Paul:    I’m happy to be alive.

(James V wakes up)

Paul:   Well James, you’ve done it again! (cheerfully) Knocked a guy out with an apple and managed to get yourself knocked out—all in one fight!

James V:   All thanks to your training, Master.

Paul:   Padawan! (earnestly) While aggression and anger offer great strength, they also trump good judgment!

James V:   Yes Master.

Paul:   Next time don’t lose this.

(He picks up James V’s sword and holds it before him while looking intently into his eyes.)

Paul:   This weapon is your life!

James V:   Yes Master.

(Paul gives James V his sword and he re sheaths it. Paul cleans his sword with a rag he carries for that purpose.)

Paul:   Ah there; just like it should be! (He sheathes it.)

Faith:   Hey!

(Paul turns, while Rachael and Asahel look at the beautiful Faith wondering where she has come from.)

Paul:   Hey! What are you doing here?

Faith:   Well, you didn’t arrive when you said you would so I decided make sure you were alright.

Paul:   Just looking out for James.

Faith:   I figured.  

(they smile at each other.)

James V:   How did you find us?

Faith:   Paul always leaves quite a mess, which always leads me to you, James.

James V:   Oh.

Rachael:   Would you like some water Paul?

James V:   Hey! You call him sir. (indignant)

(Paul looks at James with displeasure.)

Paul:   Thank you my lady, but I have no need for soon I shall return home where I may drink my fill. But perhaps my Padawan would enjoy some.

James V:   Oh yes, please. (his face brightens)

(Rachael reluctantly pours water for James.)

Paul:   (aside tone) He’s a bit short of breath these days.

Faith:   Go easy on him, Honey.

Rachael:   Here, Padawan.

(James V’s face falls.)

Asahel:   Rachael, don’t you think he’s embarrassed enough?

(Rachael just looks at Asahel.)

(In soft tones to each other.)

Faith:   So what was it? He did it for the girls?

Paul:   The older one in particular. I don’t think my training is getting through to him.

Faith:   There’s nothing that says we have to be celibate.

Paul:   Well yes, but we must be discriminate, he’s hunting.

Faith:   (giggles) Well, I know where your eyes were, when you were a padawan.

Paul:   Yes, but learned my stuff!

Faith:   Everyone is not you! Especially James.

James V:   There were times when I was victorious.

Rachael:   Mm-Hm, I’m sure there were.

James V:  Wanna hear some of them?

Rachael:   Maybe later, Padawan.

James V:   (sighs) You still think I’m not good.

Rachael:   I’ve seen how you fight and I could beat the puberty out of you!

James V:   Then why didn’t you defend yourself?

Rachael:   It’s not lady like.

James V:   What?

Paul:   James, don’t display your ignorance. This lady is the daughter of a duchess; she would not so soon soil her clothes to defend her person. The power of these vagabonds over the aristocracy is limited in these parts. Besides, its guards and servants job to defend them. (Hoping James gets the picture.)

James V:   (looks at Rachael in disbelief) You used me!

(Rachael shrugs)

James V:   How could you?

(she turns up her nose and gives him the back.)

James V :   (Shocked sounds.)

Paul:   James, expect it.

James V:   But… (sputters)

Faith:   We don’t have time for this. Dad’s expecting you back at the shop.

Paul:   Already?

Faith:   He arrived a half hour after you left.

Paul:   Ah, let’s go. Come James.

James V:   Yes sir.

Paul:   Remember this lesson.



(back to the girls)

Asahel:   Rachael, why were you so mean to him?

Rachael:   He thought he could catch me like a fish on a line and I want to disprove him. Besides he’s not really that handsome. But the guy who covered for him…

Asahel:   You mean his Master. And I don’t think you should get any ideas in your head Rach I think he’s several years older than you. And besides, he’s obviously got a girl.

Rachael:   Maybe that’s his sister. He wasn’t very nice to her—‘what are you doing here?’ That doesn’t sound like a nice way to great your girlfriend.

Asahel:   Um, I think she’s his wife?

Rachael:   What makes you say that?

Asahel:   She called him ‘Honey.’

Rachael:   Girlfriends do that.

Asahel:   I know, but there was something about their eyes and the way they looked at each other. You could tell that he was teasing and she teased him back.

Rachael:   (sighs) Yeah I know, I saw it too.

Asahel:   And you have to admit; James is kinda cute when he’s trying to impress you.

Rachael:   Asahel!

Asahel:   Come on, admit it!

Rachael:   Okay, fine—he’s cute. But you should know that the whole thing was partially an act.

Asahel:   You speak in riddles. (confused)

Rachael:   Not at all. James thought he could get me by fluffing up his feathers like a silly bird. So since he thinks I’m cheap I treat him cheap.

Asahel:   Oh Rachael!

Rachael:   (shrugs) Well he’s gotta learn some time.

Asahel:   I guess.

Rachael:   Oh shoot! Look at the time; we’ve been gone for over an hour! Oh, we’re going to catch it.

Asahel:  Yeah.

Rachael:   Let’s get home now.

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